1. Question: My daughter is making mistakes as a mother, but she will not listen to my advice. What should I do?

Denise’s response:

I understand that this is a tough situation. As we grow older, we often see the mistakes that we made as parents, and we feel that we have great experience and wisdom to give to our children. And that is true, but it is also true that sometimes our children do not want to hear from us. So what do we do in a case like that?

Well, for one thing, if that is a closed door, you can’t beat it down. You have to use the wisdom that I believe God gives us as parents. I will show you what I mean.

The first thing that our children need is the same thing they needed from us when they came out of the womb — our love and our acceptance of them. I don’t know how hard the situation is with your daughter, but before you give any kind of advice, ask yourself, What is my daughter doing right? How is she a good mother? What has she already been through? How can I encourage her as a mother?

In other words, instead of telling your daughter what to do to correct what you think she’s doing wrong, think about how you can tell her what she is doing well.

You see, in any bad situation it is easy to see the bad, but with a little more effort, you can choose to see the good. First Corinthians 13:8 shows us the wisdom of God concerning any situation we are in. It says, “Love never fails….”

Pray and ask the Lord, “Lord, how can I show my daughter that I love her? I know that she is making mistakes, but how can I show her that I love her and esteem her as a mother?” If you pray that prayer, God will show you! He knows all about your daughter and what she needs.

As parents, when we deal with our older children, sometimes we speak from a place of fear instead of speaking from a place of wisdom and love. You don’t want to speak from a place of fear because fear brings torment, and you do not want that fear or torment to enter your daughter’s heart. If you do, she might say, “I have to guard my heart from my mother because I am afraid!”

You do not want to do that! Ask God how you can lift up your daughter. Pray about that, and if you need to bring correction, remember to speak it in love and not in fear.