Q: What advice would you give to an unmarried young woman who is following the Lord’s call on her life but has a desire to be married one day? What can she do now to prepare for marriage?
A: First, there is nothing wrong with having a desire to be married. I didn’t get married until I was 28 years old, but although I definitely had a desire to be married from the time I was a young woman, no one taught me how to prepare for it.
It’s important to prepare yourself for marriage. Before getting married, I wanted to be as complete in the Lord as possible. I wanted to know who He is and who I am in Him, because if we look to our spouse to complete us, we’ll find that he won’t be able to do that, and we will never be whole.
Your spouse will want you to complement him, so you have to know who are and be ready to serve in that marriage as unselfishly as you can. Our flesh is selfish, and usually in a marriage, each person comes from brokenness in life. Then life comes, and you both have to face it together and help each other. And at times, you will feel like you’re giving and giving, and getting little in return.
You might receive kindness from your spouse at certain times more than others. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re called to show love, kindness, and unselfishness, realizing that you’re both imperfect people. Only walking closely with the Lord and understanding His nature, and who you are in Him, can help you prepare to live with someone else successfully in marriage.