Q: How do you honor parents who have abandoned you?

Denise’s AnswerIf your parents aren’t in your life, for one reason or another, what you can do to honor them is to pray for them. Many times, people who dont have their birth-parents in their life have guardians or a close friend’s parents they look up to. Even if you don’t have your parents in your life, God will bless the honor you do give to the authority figures in your life. 

But what’s really important is that you forgive. Before we dive into the Word, I want to tell you a story about a woman who was in a situation very similar to the one in your question. 

This friend of mine is now a very powerful evangelist, and she has traveled all over the world. When she was about 35 years old, she was standing alone in the kitchen in her parent’s house. She noticed some papers lying on the kitchen table, and had never seen these papers before. So she picked them up and started reading. As she read, she began to understand that her and her brother had been adopted as children! Can you imagine? 

Instead of being discouraged or feeling betrayed by her adoptive parents, my friend began doing all she could think to do to find and reconnect with her birth mother. One day, she found her! When she found her mother, she thought, “Oh, my mother is going to be so excited to see me! We’ll fellowship together, I can tell her about everything going on in my life, and introduce her to her grandchildren and her son-in-law. She will have a family she never even knew she had!” 

Finally came the day she decided to visit her birth mother for the first time. She approached the house and knocked on the door. Her heart was filled with so much expectation about this miraculous reunion with her birthmom. The door finally opened, and she said to the woman standing there, “I’d like to come in and talk with you. I just found out that I’m your daughter!” She was brimming with anticipation. But instead of welcoming her inside, her mother told her, “I didn’t want you in my life then, and I don’t want you in my life now.” 

Can you imagine how much this must have hurt? Of course! She felt one of the strongest feelings of rejection a person can feel. But do you know what she did? She just started crying out to the Lord, “Lord, what do I do now? How do I get over this? You have gotten me through so much, but this is really hard. My own mother doesn’t want me.” And the Lord reminded her of a verse in Ephesians. 

Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love.
— Ephesians 1:4

After reading this verse, she heard the Lord say, “Maybe your mother didn’t want you, but I wanted you so much that I chose you before I chose the foundation of the entire world! I wanted you, and you are accepted by Me.” 

Ephesians 1:6 says, “To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.” Friend, you’re not the rejected, you’re the accepted! You are sought-after! As my friend began to meditate and think about what the Lord said to her, she became at peace and said, “Lord, my mother didn’t want me, but You chose me. You came after me before I was even in my mother’s womb! I forgive my mother, and I receive Your love.”

You may be reading this while dealing with feelings of rejection. Maybe it wasn’t by your mother or father, but perhaps you’ve been rejected by a husband, a brother, a boss, or a best-friend, and it felt like you were put away. I’m telling you right now that if you’re born-again, you’re not rejected, you’re accepted! YOU are the one He chose! You are just the one He wanted. And friend, it is from that place of receiving God’s love that you can forgive those who rejected you and embrace that great love from your amazing Heavenly Father. 

Because we live in an imperfect world, there will always be people out there who will reject us. But we are never rejected by Jesus! We are accepted and beloved in Him!