Q:  I’m finding it difficult to accept my husband’s child from his first marriage, and I’m often worried for the future of our relationship because I fear he might return to his former family. How can I deal with these feelings and instead build a harmonious relationship?

A.  First of all, you mentioned being afraid, but I want to tell you something about fear: Many times, we get so stuck fearing things that never actually happen. Our minds get all caught up, we stop thinking rationally, and that fear stops us from doing what we would usually be able to do.

I want to share with you Romans 8:15. It says, “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, Father.’”

Friend, God cares about your situation. You’ve received the spirit of adoption, so He’s your Father, and He’s saying to you right now, “Oh my child, I love you. Give me this problem. This problem’s not bigger than my love. This fear’s not bigger than me. Come to me. Give me this problem.”

When you do that,  fear will go right out the window, and that freedom will allow you to love your husband’s child. When you get rid of your fear, you will be able to hear God’s voice telling you exactly how to have a stable relationship with your husband.

You are a victor, not a victim! Jesus lives on the inside of you, and you have authority in His name to speak to that fear and say, “Devil, God’s not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind” (see 2 Timothy 1:7).

Let me tell you, friend, you might have to say it more than once. You might have to say it many times, but you have to keep being aggressive in casting out that fear. The enemy is aggressive in trying to take over your thoughts, so you can’t just say, “Oh, Mr. Devil, would you please just leave me alone if you don’t mind.”

No! Friend, Jesus conquered him, and Jesus’ name is above every name that’s named. He puts everything under His feet, and you are in Him, so you can speak from that place of authority — not because you are so great and you do everything right, but because He lives in you and He does everything right.

Tell fear to leave. Speak the Word of God over your mind and emotions and over your relationship with your husband and his child. You have authority in Christ, and you have a heavenly Father who cares about your situation, so you have everything you need to face these difficult relationships.