Q: How Can I Be a Godly Parent?

A. I want to start by saying that you want to be careful about controlling your children.

Even when they are little and need your guidance, you don’t want it just to be about controlling them. You want the reality to be that you’re using love to raise up a responsible child. If you’re still trying to control them when they’re 17 or 18, you’ll really have problems, because you’re either going to be disappointed or they’re going to submit to your control, and you will have stolen something from them.

That’s why we have to look to the Word of God. You will never be perfect, but I want to show you a few ways that you can make sure you are doing your best as a godly parent.

1: Speak the truth over your children

Friend, what you say is what you get.

If you say “My child is going to be difficult in her teenage years,” or “My child has so many problems that he’ll struggle to be anything,” then you’re going to start making decisions based on those beliefs, and your words and decisions will influence your children. All those hopeless things might actually come true — all because you prophesied them with your mouth!

But you don’t have to look at your children the way the world sees them. Look at your children through the Word of God. See that they’re a blessing to you (see Psalm 127:3), and declare that no weapon formed against them shall prosper (see Isaiah 54:17) and that the Lord will make them the head and not the tail (see Deuteronomy 28:13).

If you listen with your heart and speak with your mouth what God says about your children, then you can begin to declare their futures — not in a controlling way, but in a way that believes that no matter what path they take, they will love God, and He will take care of them.

2: Ask the Holy Spirit for help

Friend, if you lack wisdom as a parent, James 1:5 says, “…ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach.”

You see, if you’re born again, the Holy Spirit lives inside of you, and He is a teacher and a helper. When you don’t know what to do with your children, you can go to the Teacher and say, “I don’t know what to do here, but you’re my Helper, so help me.”

When you make that request of Him, you open the door for Him to come in and give you the wisdom to do what you need for your child.

3: Seek out sources of wisdom

Before I finish, I also want to remind you that there are many wonderful resources that you can make use of. Look to an older woman who has more experience than you do and let her speak into your life. Find good books about parenting or listen to preachers who speak on the subject — just make sure you are getting good knowledge! It will be worth it when your child grows up well because you took the time to search for the right answers.

Friend, God knows that being a parent is not easy, but He gives us so much help in the difficult places, so we never have to feel powerless as we raise our children.