Q:  What does it mean to honor someone above yourself?

A:  Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves.”

This scripture contains incredible direction for us. It is not a suggestion.

When I first heard your question, I thought about marriages. We are all tempted, in our human flesh, to only think about ourselves. The Word of God teaches us to think of others as better than himself.

Esteeming others, which is putting others first above our own wants and desires, is such a great position to hold, especially in marriage. In marriage, we can tend to selfishly think, “Okay, you are supposed to make me happy in this relationship.” This mindset can often happen in new marriages. Many young couples who get married tend to think, “You need to put me first,” and have the attitude “It’s all about me,” but this verse is saying to put the other person first.

Instead of thinking about what your spouse can do for you, you need to think about what you can do for them.

Years ago I had my own complaints and thought, “Oh, if only Rick would do this and that,” but you know what came across my mind? “Denise, you’re not thinking about Rick, you’re thinking about you.” I was being selfish! This scripture is definitely telling us to think about the other person first.

Don’t try to be right all of the time! Don’t always have to have the last word. That kind of attitude is all about you; it’s not about you preferring that other person!

That is what this word in Philippians 2:3 is saying. And the Word of God is not trying to condemn us. This instruction is to help us in our relationships.

Practice having the heart attitude that says, “I will prefer you over me. I will hold back what I really want to say and yield to you.” That is you preferring the other person! That’s you moving in the love of God, and that is powerful!

What’s really more important? That you be right or that you have peace in your relationships?

Friend, God’s ways are right and they always work!