Denise was asked: What advice would you give to mothers of grown children who want to know how to support, love, and pray for their children who are not living godly lifestyles?
When children are past a certain age (about 18 and older), you have to give them to the Lord. There has to be some kind of surrender of your heart: surrendering worry, care, control, manipulation, and anxiety. Exchange those unfruitful behaviors and emotions for trusting God — and you might have to do it every day, several times a day. If all you are doing is worrying about your grown children and trying to control them, you are stopping what God wants to do for them. And you aren’t able to deliver them! So the faster you discover that you can’t deliver them and that you need to get out of the way, the sooner God can work in their lives.
Of course you can’t excuse their sin or lower the standards, but you do need to continue to love them. Don’t judge them or condemn them. Let them know that you love them even though you don’t agree with what they are doing because if you don’t let them know in a civil way (not nagging) that you don’t agree with their choices, it’s not an honest relationship.