Q:  Two years ago, my sister borrowed a large sum from me. I had set that money aside to one day purchase a home, but she still hasn’t paid me back, and it’s hard for me to forgive her. Was it right of me to lend her the money? And now that she still hasn’t repaid it, do I have the right to claim it back?”

A.  Thank you for your question. This is a very hard situation.

First of all, I want to remind you that Matthew 5:42 says, “Give to him who asks you, and from him who wants to borrow from you do not turn away.” The Bible is clear that even when people are not generous with us and won’t pay us back, we are called to be generous to them. That’s the way Jesus did it.

But of course, your situation is difficult because this is your sister. You gave her the money, and you probably believed that she’d keep her word, so maybe you’re disappointed now. Maybe you even have offense and bitterness in your heart towards your sister.

If that’s the case, then it is so important for you to look into your heart right now. You need to rationally look at the situation and ask yourself, “What’s more important to me? Is it the money or my sister? Do I need to let this go to keep my relationship with her?”

It’s not a fun discussion, and you may be saying to yourself, “But this just isn’t fair! That was my money, and I want to start building my house.”

Well you’re correct — it’s not fair, but our love is not tested until we are mistreated. Jesus said, “For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?” (Matthew 5:46). It’s easy to love people who love you and treat you right, but this situation is calling you up to a higher level in your love. And the Lord is going to help you in this. The Bible says in Romans 5:5 that the Holy Ghost has poured the love of God into our hearts, so you have the equipment for the situation.

I’m not saying that your sister is right or that she shouldn’t pay you back, but I want to make sure you are watching your own heart in the meantime. You’re not being treated right, so let this be a time when you look at yourself and ask, “Am I operating out of the love of God that’s in my heart? If my sister never pays me back, will I still be able to say that I love her and that I release her?”

Don’t let your heart be blocked with unforgiveness, friend. When you move in love instead, that is so powerful. It is more powerful than having all the money you need for your house, because when your heart is right and you love and forgive, God can do miracles! He can give you the money or peace or favor that you need and so much more.