Dear friend,

I pray you are having a wonderful summer! Whether this is a time of rest and vacation or a time of extra busyness for you, I hope you are finding peace and refreshment in the Lord. 

I am grateful to have this opportunity to write to you, because I have something on my heart that I believe will be so helpful to all of us as we try to live out our relationships in a way that is pleasing to God.

Living in relationship with other people is a natural part of our lives, but sometimes those relationships come with some challenges. Every one of us will have someone at some point who seems to always be testing our patience. You might have someone right now who comes to mind as you are reading this, and that’s why I wanted to share with you today about patience.

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Friend, if we are going to love others well, we need to have patience. That’s not just practical advice — that’s a command from God. If you are ever wondering how important patience is to God, I want you to remember what the Bible says in Proverbs 16:32: “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”

Friend, we can look at generals and people who have conquered cities and think that they are so powerful and ingenious — and it is true that they are due our respect — but it is God’s opinion that when you’re patient, you are even better than they are. That is how important it is to Him that we learn to use self-control and give patience to one another.

Now, friend, you might be reading this and saying, “That sounds great and everything, but how can I do that?” We actually get to see the answer when we look at James 1:19-20: “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”

Those are some very clear instructions: We are to be swift to some things, and slow to others. What are we supposed to be swift to? Hearing, listening, and just being quiet and paying attention. Then we’re supposed to be slow to two things: speaking and wrath.

This is so simple, friend. When a situation comes up and you need to give somebody patience, you just have to slow down. How many relationships have been destroyed by people who moved too quickly and said or did things that they never would have otherwise? Maybe you’ve done that, and maybe somebody did that to you as well, and even to this day, it has damaged that relationship.

Instead of doing damage like that, we have the choice to slow down. Maybe you have to excuse yourself. You can say, “Can you give me just a minute?” Maybe you have to go and count to 10 or 100. Whatever strategy you have to use, just remember that you don’t have to let the wrath and the rash words control you — you have the choice to slow down!

This is so simple, but it is also so difficult for us to do sometimes. The good news is that we are not expected to do it on our own. When you got born again, the Spirit of God came into you, and He brought self-control and patience with Him. Through His power, not our own, we really are able to give patience to someone else. Even when the thoughtless words are rising up inside of us and we’re about to burst, He gives us the power to recognize what’s about to happen and to instead give patience.

I want to show you how powerful this patience is when we choose to recognize it in ourselves, and of course the best example we have of this is Jesus. Just think about the night when He was about to be crucified. Think about the moment when Judas left to betray Him. Jesus knew what was going to happen. He knew why Judas was leaving, but instead of telling everyone in the room or yelling at Judas, He kept that secret to Himself. He just said, “What you do, do quickly” (John 13:27).

Later that night, Jesus asked His disciples to pray with Him. This is the only time that we know about where He asked them to just stay up and pray with Him, because He needed their support in this time. He was suffering under so much mental and emotional pressure that His sweat even turned to blood that night, but when He went to see His friends who were supposed to be supporting Him and praying with Him through it, they had fallen asleep!

What about everything that happened when the soldiers finally came to arrest Him? It must have taken so much patience not to say anything bitter or wrathful as Judas came up and kissed Him to identify Him, but then Peter dove in and cut off the high priest’s servant’s ear. In that moment, most of us probably would have said, “Peter, can’t you just hold it for a second? I am already having such a hard night, and I don’t need to deal with you acting like this!”

Jesus could have said all kinds of things to Peter or to Judas or to any of the disciples, but He had patience instead. He even took the time to fix the problem that Peter had caused. Now that’s patience!

I’m telling you this because I want you to see what is inside you right now. 2 Corinthians 13:5 says, “Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?” Friend, no matter how hard it feels for you to be patient with those difficult people in your life, you have Christ in you, and that means you have access to that amazing patience and self-control that He showed to His friends and His enemies on the night He was arrested.

That patience is not ineffective or broken — it is powerful, and it is operating just fine, but you have to recognize it, agree with it, and practice it. When a challenging situation arises and you feel tempted to give into wrath or rash words, you have to say, “You know what? I can act higher than this. I do not have to lose my temper or say the harsh words that are rising up in me. I am not a slave to those things. I have a choice to slow down.”

We really do have that authority inside of us, friend, so don’t sit there and act like you are powerless — claim that authority right now so that you can start giving patience to those around you.

I am so glad that I had the chance to write to you on this important subject, because God really does want us to be equipped to love the people around us as well as possible. In fact, for the next couple months, I am doing a teaching series that is all about the subject of loving others better, and I would love it if you would join me for it. You can watch my program, TIME With Denise Renner, live every Monday at 7 AM CT on both Facebook and YouTube or on just Facebook Wednesdays at 12 PM CT. If you’ve missed a program or just want to find a teaching on another topic, then you can find my past messages any time by looking on YouTube or renner.org. I can’t wait to share this time with you!

I also want to take a moment to offer you prayer if you are needing it right now. Whether it’s for relationships, health, finances, or anything else in your life, we would love to hear from you and have a chance to pray with you. We even love to hear about the wonderful things God is doing in your life! You can reach our prayer team by calling 1.844.473.6637 or emailing denisesocial@renner.org. We can’t wait to hear from you! 

Have a wonderful summer, friend.

We are moving forward together,

Denise Renner