Dear Friend,

I am so glad to be able to write to you today! It is incredible that no matter how far apart we are, we can still touch each other with the teachings of Jesus through letters, just like the apostles wrote to encourage and teach the Early Church. I hope that, just like those letters, this one touches your life and encourages you in whatever way you need today.

I want to encourage you that if you are suffering from feelings of shame, humiliation, and rejection right now or if you have been suffering from them for years, there is hope of recovery. For many long years, I was held captive in a prison of shame without even realizing it. I want to share with you how God delivered me from the invisible prison that I suffered in for so much of my life. I believe that our testimony is one of the most important tools we have to reveal God’s nature and power and give Him glory, so I hope that the Holy Spirit can reach through my story today and touch anyone who needs healing, freedom, or hope.

*[If you started reading this from your email, begin reading here.]

I grew up in a Christian home in Miami, Oklahoma, going to church every Sunday and Wednesday. At first, I lived what you might call a pretty normal life, but when I was about twelve years old, I developed a serious case of cystic acne on my face and neck. Now, cystic acne is not some normal case of teenage acne with a blemish here or there but a very painful condition that penetrates through all three layers of the skin, with sores so deep and big that, when pressed upon, they bruise.

I would suffer from this terrible skin condition for the next thirteen years. In school, my peers accepted me for my singing voice and my personality but not my looks, and I was made fun of a lot. As I grew older, I was even turned down for jobs that I wanted because of how my face looked.

I studied at the University of Oklahoma to obtain a Music Education degree, and in 1977, when I was 24 years old, I moved from Norman, Oklahoma, to Houston, Texas. There, I began to sing with the Houston Opera, working in the day and singing at night. As I drove to and from work, I would listen to radio preachers, and that’s how I heard a teaching that would change my life: on separate occasions, I heard both Kenneth E. Hagin and Kenneth Copeland teach on 1 Peter 2:24:

“…by whose [Jesus’] stripes, you were healed.”

Although I had been filled with the Holy Spirit since I was in college, I had never heard this teaching before — and it came just in time. After being sick for so long, my mind had begun to adjust to the sickness. Something in my personality had changed, causing me to believe that I wasn’t as good as other people. Instead of renewing my mind with what the Word of God said about my skin condition and my right to healing, I had begun to think that the condition was simply a part of life that I was meant to live with. The invisible curtain of shame had begun to bring its dominating presence over my soul.

After hearing this message, I decided to take hold of this wonderful truth about divine healing, and that truth began the process of setting me free.

Physical Deliverance

My journey to healing started with my own confession of faith. Out of my mouth, out loud, morning, noon, and night, I’d confess that by the stripes of Jesus, I was healed. I’d look in the mirror at my face and boldly declare, “By His stripes, I am healed!” over and over. I’d even sing it. Those words of faith were on my lips all the time!

After confessing the Word of God multiple times a day for about a month, I still couldn’t see any change in my condition. Nevertheless, although I could not see it, God’s hand was moving on my behalf. One day, I was driving my car and listening to a radio preacher when suddenly it was as if the Holy Ghost spoke right through her to me with a very simple question:

“Do you really want to be healed?”

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Holy Ghost was asking me that question through this radio preacher. As I quietly sat there in my car, thinking about that question, the Holy Spirit brought out His powerful searchlight and began exposing the hidden things in my heart that were holding me back from healing.

You see, throughout all those years, I had gone from doctor to doctor and tried so many antibiotics and treatments without seeing any change. I had often felt like the woman with the issue of blood in Luke 8:43, who had spent “…all her livelihood on physicians and could not be healed by any.” After a while, I began to feel sorry for myself, poor Denise who just couldn’t get healing. More than that, those car rides and doctor’s appointments when I was young had been times when I got to spend time with my mother, and I had started to enjoy the attention I got from her.

As I sat there in my car, the Holy Spirit showed me that my own self-pity and want for attention had been keeping me in bondage to this disease. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now: You cannot enjoy your self-pity and believe for your healing at the same time. You must give that “poor me” attitude to God and repent of it, turn from it, and resist it with all your strength. Only then will you be able to receive power and anointing to stand strong in your faith and believe God for your healing.

I had been living with a “poor me” attitude for a very long time without even knowing what it was doing to me, but at that moment, I repented. I asked God to forgive me and cleanse me of such selfishness, and I told Him that I definitely wanted to be healed.

Soon after that experience, I moved from Houston back to Oklahoma, still standing in faith for the manifestation of my healing. At this time, I was dating my future husband, Rick. It was wonderful to have such a loving boyfriend who accepted me just as I was, and although I didn’t know it, my fight of faith against cystic acne was almost over. After thirteen years of pain, embarrassment, and one doctor after another, I was about to be free forever from this horrible condition. 

I went to bed one night, confessing once again that by Jesus’ stripes, I was healed, just as blemished as I had been for the past thirteen years. It seemed like a normal night, but it was anything but that; this was to be the night of my miracle.

I don’t know if Jesus took two seconds, two minutes, four hours, or the entire night to perform my miracle. I just know that when I went to bed, I had cystic acne on my face and neck as had been the case for thirteen years, and when I awoke the next morning and looked in the mirror, my face and neck were completely clear!

I slapped my blemish-free face in utter amazement and joy. I called my mother on the phone and exclaimed, “Mom, the Lord healed me! Jesus totally healed me and delivered me during the night!”

From that moment on, I never suffered from that terrible skin condition. I cursed that sickness and commanded it to never come near my future children, and now I have three sons who, I can tell you with certainty, will never suffer from that condition!

The Devil Strikes Again

Now, your testimony doesn’t just stop at your first dramatic healing from God. It is a story that stretches across your whole life, and I still had a lot of life to live and a lot of healing to receive. You see, the day that God healed me, I didn’t know about believing for scars to be removed. I was just grateful the condition was gone, so I didn’t even think about it! As a result, the scars on my face from thirteen years of cystic acne remained — scars that went through all layers of the skin.

As the years passed and I reached my 40s, I noticed that my face was beginning to fall years before most women deal with such problems. For years, I’d been forced to pull on my face as I treated those terrible blemishes, and that had stolen the youth from my face.

Then, in 2002, my husband Rick said to me, “Denise, let’s just see what surgery can do to help eliminate the scars.” We looked into the matter and discovered that lifting my face would help make my scars less visible. As Rick and I discussed the possibility of going further, he said, “Honey, let’s allow the surgeon to do all he can to help you look your best.” So in the summer of 2002, I took the big leap and underwent facial surgery that included both a laser peel and a facelift.

My recovery afterward was going great. My face was red and swollen, and I had to keep a greasy ointment on my face at all times to aid in the healing process, but in my mind’s eye, I could see a more beautiful me on the other side of my recovery!

I was feeling so happy and hopeful, and that’s when I experienced a setback. One day, soon after the surgery, bumps began to break out all over my face. After being without blemishes on my face for twenty-five years, I suddenly had a red, swollen, greasy face that was covered with bumps! It was as if the devil had slapped me. After taking this big step toward trying to do something about my scars, I looked worse than ever.

Trust in God’s Process

Before I go further, let me back up to explain what had been happening spiritually in the year before my facial surgery: Jesus had been opening my eyes to what was in my soul.

The Lord took me back to a day when I was an eleven-year-old girl living in Oklahoma. I was walking around the house with my head held high and my voice booming through every room, singing as if I owned the whole world!

Over the years, I have watched the way my husband and my sons carry themselves as they walk up to the platform to speak. It’s as if they are taking the whole stage as their territory for Jesus! At the time, seeing their freedom served to expose my own bondage. I would think to myself, If only I could be as free as Rick, Paul, Phillip, and Joel!

When the Lord brought back that memory of me as a young girl, singing with such complete abandon, I realized something: Back then, I’d possessed the same kind of boldness that I saw in Rick and the boys! Through my years of suffering with that horrific skin condition, all the ridicule I’d endured and all the feelings of being less than other people had muted it. The enemy had stolen my boldness from me, but now I knew there was a time when I had been truly free, and I wanted that freedom back.

One day, the Lord gave me further revelation about myself.

Someone had given me some tapes by Derek Prince, and I began listening to them. Brother Prince had a wonderful teaching that said when Jesus died on the Cross, He took our shame and gave us His glory. As I listened, I thought to myself, There is a lot of difference between shame and glory. I want to experience that glory.

Suddenly, I remembered that I always covered my face when I prayed. I would often think to myself, Why do I always do that? Why do I always cover my face? Now I wondered, Could the reason be that I carry a hidden sense of shame that I didn’t even realize was there?

I realize now that God was setting me up for a miracle, leading me toward freedom from a type of bondage that I hadn’t even known was hindering me! Sometimes, when Jesus is delivering us from something deep in our souls, He does it step by step. His work in me was like that. First, He healed me. Second, He gave me a loving husband who wanted the best for me. Third, He revealed to me what I didn’t know about myself — that there had been a time when I was free. Fourth, He continued to give me more revelation from His Word.

Psalm 119:105 says:

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

That light was beginning to shine brighter and brighter in my heart, and God was setting the stage for another miracle.

Spiritual Restoration

Now let’s go back to several days after the operation when I was looking at all those bumps on my face and the devil was laughing at me because he thought he had won the victory.

Before the surgery, I had taken Communion twice a day for two weeks and prayed that God would heal me exceedingly and abundantly, beyond all I could ask or think. Although I looked worse than ever, I knew that my faith had not been in vain, but I still couldn’t help but feel shame at how awful I looked.

In the middle of this spiritual battle, I was invited to dinner at the house of a couple who are dear friends of mine. Now, usually, a person does not go out in public looking the way I did, but I put aside my reluctance to step outside my door and accepted the invitation. Although I was ashamed of how I looked, I just apologized to my friends for my appearance and came anyway. 

That evening, I enjoyed a wonderful meal and fellowship with my hosts, and after dinner, I asked that couple to pray for me. I desperately wanted those bumps to go away so I could get past the ordeal. Besides, I was scheduled to sing for the Joyce Meyer women’s conference in two weeks, and I definitely did not want to be on stage looking like this!

When the husband laid hands on me and prayed, I fell to the floor under the power of the Holy Spirit. I had heard of this happening to others, but this was the first time it had happened to me. The anointing was so strong that I couldn’t get up for a solid hour! During that hour, Jesus took me back in my mind to the years before I’d ever had blemishes on my face. He let me see myself as if I had never had a skin problem, all the way through middle school, high school, and college. I saw myself live through those years with a clear, unblemished face, my head held high with confidence that I was just as good as those around me. During that hour, Jesus completely delivered me from shame.

I want to say to you, friend, doctors can change your face, but they cannot change your soul! Only Jesus can go down into someone’s soul and take out the poisonous root of a problem that the person doesn’t even know is there! It was as if He came up to the prison of shame that had held my soul for so long, put His key of love and power in the keyhole, opened the door, and said, “Denise, come out from there — you are free!”

As I lay on that floor, engulfed in the presence of the Holy Spirit, Jesus told me, “I am restoring you. I am reestablishing you. I am replenishing you.” When I got up, I was a new person — healed, delivered, and free to walk in boldness that had been a stranger to me for more than three decades. Not only that, but from that moment on, the bumps on my face began to disappear. By the time the two weeks had passed for the Joyce Meyer conference, my face was clear, but what God did on the inside of me was the real transformation. His Spirit came over me in such a way that I was changed forever on the inside.

Friend, I am happy with the results of my surgery, but I want you to understand that no human doctor could have done what God did for me. Jesus bore our shame so He could give us His glory; therefore, no one except Him can touch and deliver us to this degree. Only He has the authority and power to bring about this kind of change, and it is only the Holy Spirit who can take what Jesus did on the Cross and cause His deliverance to become a manifested reality in our lives!

I hope that this testimony will touch each and every one of your lives today. If you need healing, deliverance, or transformation, I want to encourage you to contact our prayer team by calling 1.844.473.6637 or emailing denisesocial@renner.org. I believe so strongly in the power of prayer, friend, and I want you to experience God’s power today, so please contact us for anything that you are going through right now.

I also hope that you will join me for my program, TIME with Denise Renner. This month, we are running my series with Heather Z, and I hope that listening to her testimony can bless you just like I hope mine has today. You can watch on Facebook or YouTube every Monday at 7:00 AM CT or tune in on Wednesday at 12:00 PM CT on Facebook. This series is also airing Mondays on Victory channel at 2 PM CT and on Wednesdays on Daystar at 8 AM CT. All my programs are also available at Renner.org. I can’t wait to see how God moves in your life through this program!

We are moving forward together,

Denise Renner