Denise was asked: Is it okay for a Christian to have sex outside of marriage? (Is it possible to live in a civil marriage?)
Denise’s answered, “I know that in this world we live in, some may say, “Oh, I have a partner,” “Oh, I am living with somebody,” or “Oh, we love each other.” Someone might even say, “I’m having an affair.” But the Bible has a word for sex outside of marriage — it’s fornication. And just because the world decided to give it another name or society decided to change how it feels about it, that doesn’t change what the Bible says. The Bible calls it fornication.
Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” God isn’t changing. Society changes, but God doesn’t change. God has rules, and His way is the right way. God is not trying to keep you from having fun or enjoying life or being independent, but He IS wanting to save you from heartache — even disease.
When people try to find their soulmate by sleeping or living with a person before marriage, many of those relationships end in heartbreak and some of those people even get diseases. God has set up a way that protects us, and that way is to stay sexually pure before marriage.
I can tell you from my own experience, that I never had a physical relationship with another man before I married my husband. I do not have any difficult memories that I have had to try to forget because there aren’t any memories there. I just have this one relationship that I’m able to pour my whole life into — and have for more than four decades and counting.
You see, when there is a covenant — a commitment to one another — God can give you something wonderful. That’s what marriage is about. It’s not about, “Well, I’ll try out this partner for a while, and if it works out, then we’ll get married. But if it doesn’t work out, I’ll try someone else.” That’s not God’s way. It’s not the best way, and it’s not the healthy way to build a good marriage.
First Corinthians 7:9 says, “But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” If you are a Christian and are living with somebody, there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. But when we give our life to Jesus, we give Him our whole life. That means our life no longer belongs to us — it belongs to Him. So we need to treat it with the utmost care and respect.