Can I Correct My Husband’s Swearing?

Q: How can I wisely respond to my husband’s foul language to preserve both the people around us and myself?

A: This can be such a hard situation, because no one likes to be told to change. It’s just not a pleasant experience, and if we don’t have the right hearts about it, it can lead to offense and damage in our relationships. Now, I can’t tell you what to do, but I can offer some biblical wisdom and a practical suggestion.

Ephesians 4:15 tells us to speak the truth in love, and that has to be the basis for whatever action you take.

To make sure you are doing that, I would suggest that before you speak to your husband, you write down everything you’re going to say. Think about if somebody was going to correct you about something and how you would want them to say it.

Personally, I think it’s important, especially in marriage, to start by saying, “You’re such a blessing to me. You do this, and you do that, and I love and appreciate you.” But you also want to speak the truth, so you’ll say, “…but when you do this, it hurts me.”

Just be honest, and then write those honest thoughts down so you can carefully choose your words before your husband hears them. Try to remove phrases that accuse or blame him, like, “Your actions make me do this or act like this.” You can also pray as you write. Just ask God to help you find the right words.

Let that written version of your words be your roadmap to the conversation so that you don’t let your emotions run away with you and cause you to say something that won’t help your husband receive correction.

That’s just a very practical suggestion I would offer you, but I also want to remind you to pray over your husband and his choice of words. Luke 6:45 tells us, “Out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks,” so what your husband is saying could be a sign that there’s something in his heart that God needs to touch. I’ve heard many testimonies of people whose mouths were so dirty before they got saved, but once they were saved, they couldn’t even say those words anymore.

Whether you choose to take my suggestions or not, I just want you to walk away from reading this knowing that you need to do whatever you do with love, honesty, and prayer. Those are the things that are going to keep you in God’s will for the situation.