Q: The Bible tells us in Proverbs 14:1 that as women, we are to build up our homes. What are the best ways to successfully build up your home?

A: According to Proverbs 14:1, you must have wisdom to build your home. It says, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” The major difference between a wise woman and a foolish woman is that a wise woman takes instruction. Foolish people don’t want correction, instruction, or wisdom, but the wise value all these things. 

Personally, I know I didn’t always do everything right as I aimed to build up my house. But I was constantly looking for someone who knew more than me. I would watch those godly women — women I was very privileged to be around — and I would think about how I could apply the spiritual and emotional fruit I saw in them to my own actions, choices, and lifestyle.

When I started to get serious about marriage and building up my home, I began reading books, studying the Word, and submitting myself to that knowledge — because if you have knowledge, but you don’t submit yourself to it, that knowledge does you no good!

The book of James tells us what happens when we don’t practice this kind of submission. It says: 

For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does. 

— James 1:23-27

In other words, if you look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Oh, I see what I need to improve on,” but you walk away and don’t do anything about it, you’re worse off than someone who doesn’t look in the mirror at all. You should continually look into the “mirror” of God’s Word and act on what you see. When you do that, you’re going to gain wisdom. 

It’s difficult to look at His Word on a consistent basis and not change! As you put in the work and you’re a doer of the Word you behold, the Lord will teach you how to build up your home. If that’s what you’re longing for, that is what He’s going to give you. The key is to be like the wise woman because the wise woman is seeking out ways to do what she longs for.