Q:  My son is engaged to a girl from church but our relationship with her did not work out in view of her character. And I want it to work out in view of her character and I want it to be completely different. Please give advice.

A:  Well, I can’t tell you what to do, but I can at least tell you my experience.

When I got married, my character was not what it is now. I loved the Lord with all my heart and I certainly loved my husband and I loved people. But I had other things that needed to be checked.

Now my precious mother in law was someone who would write cards to everybody. Not just thank you cards, but birthday cards, condolence cards, she would send all kinds of cards! I wasn’t someone who sends cards.

In America, it’s tradition to send thank you cards after you get married to those who you received gifts from. However this was over 40 years ago. Well, for all the presents that we got, I didn’t send a single thank you card. I thanked them at the wedding but I never sent them a card.

But my mother in law was perfect at this. She could have judged me. And her house was perfect! My house was not! God had to do some work with me! So, what I’m saying is, be patient, just love this girl. Matthew 7:12 says, “Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them.”

So if you want your daughter in law to receive you, you also should receive her.

But I want to give you some wisdom. Your son is not marrying you. He’s marrying her. This is their life together and you want them to be happy. That’s the most important thing.

In fact I made a rule for myself to know the perfect daughter-in-law: She loves Jesus and she loves my son.

You didn’t raise her! She came from a different family! All my daughter-in-laws came from Russia and I wasn’t raised by Russian parents. So there will be things between the two of you that you may not understand. But one thing you can understand is loving each other.